Sigh..

Again. I only blog when I'm sad, angry or upset...

Let's talk about today. A fucking day I've been through.

Early morning, my mum scream at me the moment I open my eyes. How nice to begin the day with. Her normal days of going to temple is only on wed night, Lunar 14th and 30th. And today, being a thursday, she said she have to go and sign some documents. And that was like last minute notice when I'm having customers at 7pm. WTF!! Ok, I quarrelled with her and she insisted on her way. What to do? When she ask me "去找别人带啦！＂。I LAN LAN! Was very pissed off, and waiting for hubby to reach home and fetch me to golden mile, to meet a customer who is going to sign deal.

Was "welcomed" with a not-v-happy face of his. And along the journey, I was v upset, did not talk or say anything. I suppose he did not realize. Quite disappointed that he didn't realize I am very troubled and unhappy. At that moment, I felt so lonely.....

Upon reaching customer, I need to throw away all my emotions, put on a smiley face and act as if I'm v happy. Fuck it. It was a long discussion of 2 hrs. But still, my customer signed the deal. During the 2 hrs, Hubby went off to do some stuff and ask him to do something, kena fucked. 1 hr later, he called and ask me how long more I will take. I told him 30mis more. So he waited at the carpark for the last 30-45 mins. Kena F again. How great!!!!!!!

This time round, he is pissed off. Went to geylang eat handmade noodle for lunch at 3pm. Upon reaching, he sat down, took money from him ask him what he want to eat. I can't hear him due to the noisy surrounding and his soft voice. I said "huh?" Kena F attitude again.

5pm I have another customer. On the way going, keep calling and answering phone. When we are reaching desination, kena shout again.

Reach home, night time, I was on my com working, shouted and ask me to give Adriel and beldon eat Chinese medicine bought from Yu yan SENG. This time round, I SHOUTED back. Ok. Beggining of war. Given a man's fucking ego, this is sure to be a big fight. Indeed. It was.

I've told him, I shout at my mum, I kena F, I shout at him, kena F. Then who can I shout at!! All of u only know how to scold me. I cannot scold back, because I never scold back de. I mean humans have a level of tolerance. You all can't expect me to always swallowing down. At home, I need to 忍， outside customer I also need to 忍.. Find me a psycharist then!!!! I think I would need one. Very soon.

Anyway, I'm here lying on bed while he is sleeping. I know I got to apologize anyway. Sometimes I apologize doesn't mean I agree with you. But more to give and take, there ought to be someone giving in, if not how long will this cold war be? I believe alot of ppl disagree with my philosophy. But wait until u get married and then you will know how impt is ur family.

If I knew that by shouting a few words will cause such chaotic mess. I would hve swallow the words down.

Sometimes I find the poorer days have one kind of happiness which I miss now...

I feel like seeing a psycharist now... The stress is killing me.....