Sigh..

Again. I only blog when I'm sad, angry or upset...

Let's talk about today. A fucking day I've been through.

Early morning, my mum scream at me the moment I open my eyes. How nice to begin the day with. Her normal days of going to temple is only on wed night, Lunar 14th and 30th. And today, being a thursday, she said she have to go and sign some documents. And that was like last minute notice when I'm having customers at 7pm. WTF!! Ok, I quarrelled with her and she insisted on her way. What to do? When she ask me "去找别人带啦！＂。I LAN LAN! Was very pissed off, and waiting for hubby to reach home and fetch me to golden mile, to meet a customer who is going to sign deal.

Was "welcomed" with a not-v-happy face of his. And along the journey, I was v upset, did not talk or say anything. I suppose he did not realize. Quite disappointed that he didn't realize I am very troubled and unhappy. At that moment, I felt so lonely.....

Upon reaching customer, I need to throw away all my emotions, put on a smiley face and act as if I'm v happy. Fuck it. It was a long discussion of 2 hrs. But still, my customer signed the deal. During the 2 hrs, Hubby went off to do some stuff and ask him to do something, kena fucked. 1 hr later, he called and ask me how long more I will take. I told him 30mis more. So he waited at the carpark for the last 30-45 mins. Kena F again. How great!!!!!!!

This time round, he is pissed off. Went to geylang eat handmade noodle for lunch at 3pm. Upon reaching, he sat down, took money from him ask him what he want to eat. I can't hear him due to the noisy surrounding and his soft voice. I said "huh?" Kena F attitude again.

5pm I have another customer. On the way going, keep calling and answering phone. When we are reaching desination, kena shout again.

Reach home, night time, I was on my com working, shouted and ask me to give Adriel and beldon eat Chinese medicine bought from Yu yan SENG. This time round, I SHOUTED back. Ok. Beggining of war. Given a man's fucking ego, this is sure to be a big fight. Indeed. It was.

I've told him, I shout at my mum, I kena F, I shout at him, kena F. Then who can I shout at!! All of u only know how to scold me. I cannot scold back, because I never scold back de. I mean humans have a level of tolerance. You all can't expect me to always swallowing down. At home, I need to 忍， outside customer I also need to 忍.. Find me a psycharist then!!!! I think I would need one. Very soon.

Anyway, I'm here lying on bed while he is sleeping. I know I got to apologize anyway. Sometimes I apologize doesn't mean I agree with you. But more to give and take, there ought to be someone giving in, if not how long will this cold war be? I believe alot of ppl disagree with my philosophy. But wait until u get married and then you will know how impt is ur family.

If I knew that by shouting a few words will cause such chaotic mess. I would hve swallow the words down.

Sometimes I find the poorer days have one kind of happiness which I miss now...

I feel like seeing a psycharist now... The stress is killing me.....

Hectic week...

I'm lying on the bed blogging. With the lights off and cooling aircon. Time now is 427am. And I need to wake up at 6.30am. Ah!!!!

It's going to be a very busy saturaday for me. Customers from 7am to 7pm. Without break time! Sunday got customer summore. Omg. This is killing me....

Anyway, it's good to have more work=more money. I'm turning 21 in just 6 more months. And I need to buy a house. How great!!!

Trip to Malaysia last month wasn't what I was anticipating all along. I was so eager for that short trip till I couldn't sleep the night before. The best things about the trip should be visiting ah gong, Going on a plane after donkey years and shopping in duty free shops in airport. Did I mention I bought 20pieces of SK2 mask at a freaking price of 190SGD?? OMG. I was damn happy. Back to Malaysia, Hubby and I was eating and eating evry day. The most boring thing is to wait for ppl to fetch us with car etc, it is not like sg where transport is so damn easy. And not to mention the law and order comparing to sg.

After staying at Malaysia for that 4nights, I really miss Singapore. On the 1st night, I miss my kids alr. And then it was so boring that I told Hubby we should have cut short our trip.

I feel that I am really an alien when comparing to Malaysia girls(I mean those who stay there for long). I waste food(just like serene), I hurl vulgarities and I smoke(just like Huiyu), I don't like to do housework (maybe like all of my sistas?), I drink. And I see alot of them are like so damn fucking good. I feel that I'm perfectly normal when comparing to my sistas. But over there, I feel like I'm out of place. Example, I was at coffeeshop, then I took out a ciggy to smoke, all the aunties were staring as if I got a shit on my head. I related the incident to hubby's cousin, and guess what. He said: " 女孩子抽烟一定很多人看的ma＂. I'm like WTF? In Singapore, you see all woman of diff levels smoking like crazy.

I told Hubby too, if Ahma ask me to do housework he will do. Hahahahaha. Say I'm pampered if u wan la, I don't give a damn. The reason is to enjoy myself and relax. Not go there to strress myself! Anyway, ahma asked Hubby whether I know how to cook. Hubby straight answer"she dunno how to cook!". Well done Hubby!! Haha.

One more thing, hubby's uncle said, elderly is always right. They are the 长辈so we must listen to them. I beg to differ. I must say that is not they are always right. But of course we have to respect them, not to the extend of following what exactly they say. Humans tend to make mistakes. So how do u say that he or she will be always right? I feel that the man there are more ego, maybe is because the education system or was it a tradition?? Hmmm...

If I'm god, I would have created all men without ego.

I conclude that I'm still suitable city lifestyle. Kill me if you want me to stay there.

Now I'm thinking of going to bkk. Jetstar Sale is here. And is freaking cheap. But Hubby don't seem to have the intention of going though. We shall see la. Because of the mal trip, I worked through the night for 3 days. If I'm gg to bkk, then I think I need to do that again!!!!

Ok. I'm going to sleep now.

Night peeps.

Signing off,
Lina
453am

TGIF

again. fucking tired.

how come things are not going smoothly!! i guess this is the path when you are doing business. tend to be unlucky at times when things start to screw up.

"there are damn lots of huge obstacle when we just carved out. what's this man!" I consoled myself.

sometimes i wished the money can drop from the sky. and i can enjoy myself to the max.

but i know, i need to work hard, to get out of poverty. which means, having only maggi or 2 fucking bucks for the whole family meal. buying milkpowder when it is just the last feed left. searching all over the house to look for any diapers. drooling saliva when passing by restuarants.

but Ironically, those times were kind of happier. at least over a special event when we get to dine at a restuarant. but of course, who would want those life where you are busying where is your next meal going to be.

because ive been through it, now my aim is to earn big bucks. retire and roam the world by the age of 45.

i think its better for me to blog in da middle of night. while blogging, there are countless phone calls and sms disrupting.

To be continued...

Signing off
with love
3.43pm

TIRED

im damn tired. need a break seriously

if only i can go overseas and relax on a holiday for a few days.

I would prefer BKK, phuket or redang.

i feel like going to a spa, looking at the sea, drinking coconut and most imptly, off my fucking phone which is ringing not stop everyday.

Signing off
Lina
354am

Sleepless night

Lying on the bed, can't get to sleep. Thinking blogging might be a good way to send me off to dreamland.

Hubby sis is pregnant and getting married soon. I was recalling the day when I know Im having Adriel, it struck me hard as though there is no tmr.

Anyway I'm happy for her and her baby, especially when there are dozens of people worrying and preparing her marriage. Thinking back, I was frantically preparing my Big Day when I was just 17. Thats th diff when u are getting a son in law or daughter in law Checking all over the net to do everything wasn't an easy task too. Hubby was working all day and night to earn money. I knew he was the man Im looking for.

However, good things don't always come in pair. I still remember how people dress as though they are going to coffeeshop on my solemnisation day. Shows that you don't give a bloody damn. Whatever. Maybe you would say I'm thankful to have you all as my witnesses to my solemnisation with fake smile. Sorry I don't. And I seriously think you should look how stupid you are. Look down on us and I don't give a damn.

Imagine if your daughter were to be look down on now? Saying that guy's family doesn't want too many people to know about the marriage? How funny is that huh. Nonetheless, I still respect them as my elders. Just feel like ranting my thoughts since my blog is very unknown.

I'm thankful to my Hubby for giving me such a wonderful family.
I'm thankful to my sistas who support me and present on my day.
I'm thankful to the hubby's bro who borrow the car and drive us there.
I'm thankful to the photographer who took down the beautiful moments
I'm thankful to everyone who came with their blessings.

I'm thankful that I have you as my Hubby.


Work is still forever so hectic.

Got our new car already!! Everytime I see the car I know, it's time to move further up. Even if we drop one day, I know we will climb higher, steadier the 2nd time.

My TP will be on 29jan. Switch to school already. It's cheaper since I need only 8 lesson to TP. And i can roam around freely in the circuit! Which is a killer.

Ok. Got to sleep now.

Signing off at 351am.

LALALA

Driving lesson today again. was pouring and i overslept can!! Instructor was waiting below my block for half an hr. i woke up when he called me saying he will be coming though. nice sleep, but not enough. haha.

Employment agent came my hse and settle some stuff. some subcon came to collect cheque from me too.

Had a long chat with my dear sista, SERENE YOW. on msn. good laugh man. she said her face is expanding horizontally. burst into laughter!

Hubby is sleeping. seems like he is tired back from work. project got to rush, poor thing. Ordered Nonya Delivery, takes them 2 hrs!! kns. im still waiting for it to arrive.

Hubby ask me to call for tingkat catering. my mum doesnt cook, so eating out everyday is killing us on the mind! thinking of what and where to eat practically everyday! going for the trial at neogarden for about 100bucks for 10D. if ok, will be taking monthly 3dishes+1soup for 3pax. which my kids can eat too. dont have to think of what to eat alr!! only weekends then eat out ah.

My phone keeps jamming. wtf. i think i need to change phone alr.

Tomorrow might be meeting serene for brunch. i scared i cannot wake up leh!! haha. but definitely going to rebond my hair at bugis. I need some maintainence for my hair. CUI TTM!

Beldon is with my neighbour and adriel is sleeping. i guess its time for my nap also!

Signing off,
Lina
8.02pm

Mid Autumn Festival

Today is the lantern festival!!

its a super duper boring night anyway.

Woke up at 8 despite the short hours of sleep. reach hillview at 9am.

went back home after work is done and did some arrangement of jobs and phone calls before off to nap. woke up in the afternoon and went to guan yin temple to pray for an amulet for my TP day.

back home aftermath.

7pm another customer again. Went back home fetch 2 little boys and off we go to in-law place. Ate dinner, watch tv and back home.

Ends my boring day.

Had an arguement with hubby over a fucking pacifier. dont know how come i lost control of my temper. knn. doesnt look like me though. i think it is PMS. every few days of the month always like that. si beh sians. damn hot tempered throughout the whole day. keep feeling sleepy and tired and always hungry. FMLx10

Beldon is sitting on my lappy now while blogging. haha.

If hubby were to read my blog. I hope he understand my PMS though. give way to me for that mere few days of the month la hur.

I start to love blogging again. its the time where i can voice out my sorrows, happiness and stress. The very little time of the day where my mind is recalling the past events and my thoughts.

anyway, that day mum told one of her close frens(husband and wife,which is also my "uncle,auntie") that we are going to get MB C180. Response was ' Giant those MB figurine har', LMAO. suprisingly, i wasnt angry or upset over the comment. its just that i think the reply can be phrase better.

i dont care what people is going to say or comment (Im sure there is alot). As long as im happy with my life:)

My philosophy of life: Today, you can be on Top of the World, Tomorrow you can be Upside Down.
Dont look down on others when they are in bad shape, neither can you think too highly of yourself when you have a little bit of acheivement. THE WORLD IS ROUND:)

Blogging thru phone

My first time blogging through iPhone:)) I guess more posts coming in in future.

Working at home now and having driving license at 4pm. Can't sleep yesterday night though. Some images and scenes keep repeating in my mind!! WTF. It shouldn't be so.

My mum is complaining again!! Of no freedom etc. Haiz. Because I'm having a lot of driving lesson lately. And she, on random, will need to go out do this do that. Argh!!

Hubby is out for work. And i'm gg to prepare myself for TP on 11/10. He said he will drive the car and wait for me at CDC. Lol! He doesn't have a license! He is mad. Anyway, I don't want to hold high hopes. I will tear if I fail then.

Ok. Off to work:)

wooo

Cant get to sleep so decided to post about some recent happenings:)

was my bday few days back. was expecting a suprise gift from hubby but but but..... nvm, as long as he still loved me la. haha. went to PP sakae buffet and that ends 16/09. the next day was a friday, and woo... headdown to RCD. enjoyable night with a high-ness.

prvious fri was really drunk at dolly. i still can vaguely recall some of the happenings when we are about to head home. LOL. quite fun luh.

work is still the same. busy and phone-never-stop-ringing.

Saturday went to a techno-club-cum-liveband with hubby/mr z/ mr he / a few friends. cant belive it. TECHNO LEH! rarely seen nowadays. and what is more shocking is majority of the crowds are above 40yrs. and they dance like there is no tmr kind. SHOCK! drank until 2.30 when the club close, and we went to nearby coffeeshop and eat. and BEER again. omg, i was thinking its gonna be my doom day. luckily after maybe 2 glasses im still alright.

hubby bought a C180 on saturday. went down to MB showroom to see. think will be getting it 1st oct. im fucking stressed for TP on 11/10. cant imagine if i fail!! i was telling hubby that oncee i passed, i will grab the keys and off we go for rounding. wahahaha. if i fail, keep they keys for maybe another month loh. i know i will be a detest driver by all the road users. Im damn lousy in driving i admit. LOL. anyway 2 things i dont like about C180, door is damn fucking heavy, boot open will bounce up if you dun hold it steadily. what i love: the spacious and comfy seat. built-in bluetooth and reverse camera, etc. mr z test drive experience was a breeze though. was deciding between A4, IS250 too. A4 is too expensive IMHO. IS250 will kill on the road tax and insurance. looking at FE, C180 is a better choice.
Sat in my dream car. SLK! damn fucking shiok la. told hubby when my kids have all grown up, hopefully i can own a SLK.

next item to buy after license pass will be a baby car seat. do we really need that? LOL. i scared kena fine only.

adriel and beldon are doing great too. beldon is alr walking and "running". Adriel is mumbling alien words and can call 'daddy' 'mama'. gg to enrol him in kindergarden next yr alr.

yr end is coming very soon. i had a wonderful 2010. seems like it was 5yrs. damn long to me.

hope my dear hubby can get his PP done asap. feel like gg on holidays!!

Woosh