Sigh..

Again. I only blog when I'm sad, angry or upset...

Let's talk about today. A fucking day I've been through.

Early morning, my mum scream at me the moment I open my eyes. How nice to begin the day with. Her normal days of going to temple is only on wed night, Lunar 14th and 30th. And today, being a thursday, she said she have to go and sign some documents. And that was like last minute notice when I'm having customers at 7pm. WTF!! Ok, I quarrelled with her and she insisted on her way. What to do? When she ask me "去找别人带啦！＂。I LAN LAN! Was very pissed off, and waiting for hubby to reach home and fetch me to golden mile, to meet a customer who is going to sign deal.

Was "welcomed" with a not-v-happy face of his. And along the journey, I was v upset, did not talk or say anything. I suppose he did not realize. Quite disappointed that he didn't realize I am very troubled and unhappy. At that moment, I felt so lonely.....

Upon reaching customer, I need to throw away all my emotions, put on a smiley face and act as if I'm v happy. Fuck it. It was a long discussion of 2 hrs. But still, my customer signed the deal. During the 2 hrs, Hubby went off to do some stuff and ask him to do something, kena fucked. 1 hr later, he called and ask me how long more I will take. I told him 30mis more. So he waited at the carpark for the last 30-45 mins. Kena F again. How great!!!!!!!

This time round, he is pissed off. Went to geylang eat handmade noodle for lunch at 3pm. Upon reaching, he sat down, took money from him ask him what he want to eat. I can't hear him due to the noisy surrounding and his soft voice. I said "huh?" Kena F attitude again.

5pm I have another customer. On the way going, keep calling and answering phone. When we are reaching desination, kena shout again.

Reach home, night time, I was on my com working, shouted and ask me to give Adriel and beldon eat Chinese medicine bought from Yu yan SENG. This time round, I SHOUTED back. Ok. Beggining of war. Given a man's fucking ego, this is sure to be a big fight. Indeed. It was.

I've told him, I shout at my mum, I kena F, I shout at him, kena F. Then who can I shout at!! All of u only know how to scold me. I cannot scold back, because I never scold back de. I mean humans have a level of tolerance. You all can't expect me to always swallowing down. At home, I need to 忍， outside customer I also need to 忍.. Find me a psycharist then!!!! I think I would need one. Very soon.

Anyway, I'm here lying on bed while he is sleeping. I know I got to apologize anyway. Sometimes I apologize doesn't mean I agree with you. But more to give and take, there ought to be someone giving in, if not how long will this cold war be? I believe alot of ppl disagree with my philosophy. But wait until u get married and then you will know how impt is ur family.

If I knew that by shouting a few words will cause such chaotic mess. I would hve swallow the words down.

Sometimes I find the poorer days have one kind of happiness which I miss now...

I feel like seeing a psycharist now... The stress is killing me.....

Hectic week...

I'm lying on the bed blogging. With the lights off and cooling aircon. Time now is 427am. And I need to wake up at 6.30am. Ah!!!!

It's going to be a very busy saturaday for me. Customers from 7am to 7pm. Without break time! Sunday got customer summore. Omg. This is killing me....

Anyway, it's good to have more work=more money. I'm turning 21 in just 6 more months. And I need to buy a house. How great!!!

Trip to Malaysia last month wasn't what I was anticipating all along. I was so eager for that short trip till I couldn't sleep the night before. The best things about the trip should be visiting ah gong, Going on a plane after donkey years and shopping in duty free shops in airport. Did I mention I bought 20pieces of SK2 mask at a freaking price of 190SGD?? OMG. I was damn happy. Back to Malaysia, Hubby and I was eating and eating evry day. The most boring thing is to wait for ppl to fetch us with car etc, it is not like sg where transport is so damn easy. And not to mention the law and order comparing to sg.

After staying at Malaysia for that 4nights, I really miss Singapore. On the 1st night, I miss my kids alr. And then it was so boring that I told Hubby we should have cut short our trip.

I feel that I am really an alien when comparing to Malaysia girls(I mean those who stay there for long). I waste food(just like serene), I hurl vulgarities and I smoke(just like Huiyu), I don't like to do housework (maybe like all of my sistas?), I drink. And I see alot of them are like so damn fucking good. I feel that I'm perfectly normal when comparing to my sistas. But over there, I feel like I'm out of place. Example, I was at coffeeshop, then I took out a ciggy to smoke, all the aunties were staring as if I got a shit on my head. I related the incident to hubby's cousin, and guess what. He said: " 女孩子抽烟一定很多人看的ma＂. I'm like WTF? In Singapore, you see all woman of diff levels smoking like crazy.

I told Hubby too, if Ahma ask me to do housework he will do. Hahahahaha. Say I'm pampered if u wan la, I don't give a damn. The reason is to enjoy myself and relax. Not go there to strress myself! Anyway, ahma asked Hubby whether I know how to cook. Hubby straight answer"she dunno how to cook!". Well done Hubby!! Haha.

One more thing, hubby's uncle said, elderly is always right. They are the 长辈so we must listen to them. I beg to differ. I must say that is not they are always right. But of course we have to respect them, not to the extend of following what exactly they say. Humans tend to make mistakes. So how do u say that he or she will be always right? I feel that the man there are more ego, maybe is because the education system or was it a tradition?? Hmmm...

If I'm god, I would have created all men without ego.

I conclude that I'm still suitable city lifestyle. Kill me if you want me to stay there.

Now I'm thinking of going to bkk. Jetstar Sale is here. And is freaking cheap. But Hubby don't seem to have the intention of going though. We shall see la. Because of the mal trip, I worked through the night for 3 days. If I'm gg to bkk, then I think I need to do that again!!!!

Ok. I'm going to sleep now.

Night peeps.

Signing off,
Lina
453am